Rango's Dog House

[ Intro ]

[ed: the gear is always on. if she tries to break up with me, if she tries to walk out, i’ll just pick up T-Bone, turn down the studio lights & play this song right there in front of her, live, as her resistance crumbles & the suitcase becomes impossibly full of tears and regret. every pair of panties leaves a tip on the scale of doubt. sure baby pack up your bags. you do that.  good luck with that while i finish the intro ]

<< Drop >>

Romeo 2.0
old school
don’t you know
one man show
super-fancy
under pantsies
new romancies

19th level barding
i ain’t tanya harding
Pyroclastic chromatastic
fantastic mind elastic

so i can see how they would say that
and you know that’s how i pay back
i don’t play that honey
i don’t play for money

[ed: i will not help her because I’m in the middle of casting a spell, she knows it. and i’m almost to the chorus. she knows how the song goes, that’s how she ended up here. she’s already given up & we both know it. but it’s nice to give her the illusion of a fighting chance because we’re going to keep her after the spell wears off & she realizes what’s already happened. she caves, takes out her lighter & holds it up. everybody should]

<< Drop >>

takes two to tango, lady
i ain’t slim shady
culpible for your position
in your mission
one musician
and magician
that ain’t fishin
that ain’t wishingkind of greedy
kind of needy
took so long
i aint that seedy

 

but i take the 5th i plead
heed my rhymes
and you will read
it was just me

but if maybe i’m not alone
i talked to you on the phone
there was noone else at home
this was the tone
just one rabbit
one bad habit
one or two or two or three or four
i couldn’t count i closed the door
tossed the bottles on the floor
couldn’t take it anymore
full throttle on the bottle
on the floorright there by the shoes you wore
and then i swore
i wrote a song about that
back before they called me matt
hatter.
it doesn’t matter

 

once or twice before
but you might remember more
as i deplore
i just can’t take it anymore

do you remember
when i leave you in september
pentagrams & histograms
time is but the dripping sands

 

harmonies
that come in 3’s
in my old school
those are old tools
but i am not a fool
i only have one rule
you cannot leave
that’s just not coolnevermind you
i must play through
you stay there
and touch my hair

on the couch
please don’t slouch
and hold the cheese
i did say please
do not recycle my raps jeez
i caught your flow & will appease

now please clap
and i won’t rap
i’ll shut my yap
and fingertap

like kernel sanders
and you’re ed flanderss
o you give me your head
cuz you are already dead
cogently preemptively
and definitely was not me
as you can see

[ Chorus ]

hold it up the tears roll down
i told you that i was a clown
you’re not  rolling out of town
and i would not mess around
what’s the upside with your frown
i’ll turn it down like charlie brown

how did you get from over there
with your goldie hawn kate hair
to over here and on the pier
and if you might just hold my beer

with all the optimistic things
please don’t try to clip your wings
you just met a dog that singsit’s a movie you & me
starring rango von linksi
don’t be afraid just look & seeif we fail i will not blame us
we will still be somewhat famous
so listen dear
you lose your fear
and i’ll say hey
where’s my beer

stay there on the couch not leaving
you can see what i’ve been weaving
this rap is not the song
it’s not about what’s wronghonestly not what i need
this is not the way i feed
but now i think i’m gonna freeze

 

i feel a nasty breeze
so if you please i’ll close the door
and as i do so i implore
you can see there
on the floor
in font of me
as i explore the shoes you worethey made me so hot
i’m something that i’m not
getting to the chorus
don’t be boring don’t you bore us
don’t you adore us
i shut the door yes.

glad that’s settled
here’s some metal
as heavy as her stuff
mostly fluff

its’ not enough
a diamond in the rough
that i throw out on the street
i’m the one do not compete

while you are just sitting there
me my rhymes are everywhere
and now my work’s complete
a fait accompli

it’s you & me
this is your fate
a double take
a wake & bake cupcake
muffin man
is in the pan

as i perform
out of the norm
in front of you
that’s what i am gonna do
you’re in my lair
you touched my hair
that wasn’t fair
and i don’t share
remember i was lying there
lights projector mirror PA
seems like that was yesterday
but that’s not how it works this way
i don’t know what else to say<< Drop >>

that green screen is not mean
it’s just green
only one part of the scene

just like the purse
but it gets worse
this is where it’s gonna hurt
you will say ouch
you’re on the couch

you cannot leave
i won’t deceive
i trapped you in a spell i weave

the lights went out
on your will
now you choke a bitter pill
even as you sit there still

[ Verse 3 ]

<< Drop >>

 

hold up my lighter
now hold it higher
fly meet Spyder
and if you want the door to open
since I’m here and I was hopingI
‘m Poping in Detroit you see
like Kernel Sanders that ain’t me
but it could be
i’d be shredding
and cut heading
in the streets
your head is meat
1,2,3 my job’s completeschwing schwang
awe dang
you can’t even play that thang
you can’t shred and even ed
flanders he has standards
common manners
i’ll take all your beats apart
i know right where to start

 

they’re ill-mannered
i’ll put your head on a platter
i hope it doesn’t spatter
it’s not you, it’s that dude
but i don’t like your attitude
so don’t be rude

and i know you will agree
to this decree
with you & me
as you wonder
and i wander

and i know
you will ponder
as you grow
somewhat fonder

i’m the first 911 responder
that you need
unless you really bleed

you’re staying here not going there
the car’s too far you touched my hair
that ain’t fair you sit right there
quit believing that you’re needing
something else & start receiving
messages that you’re not leaving
now you see the spell i’m weaving

sit right there cuz
you’re not leaving
now it’s time to
change your season this is where
you touch my hair
love is the reason
you won’t go there
heartbreak treason

 

[ Chorus ]

Days are long, the nights are cold

Story’s written, the end foretold

If I had one more word to say
I never should have let you leave that day