Rango’s Takedown: Piers vs Alex

Sascha Cooper was talking about piers today, his reprehensible comments during a dance audition (clearly the man is qualified to judge a dance competition, because he was such a great dancer. wait, what??). no matter how refined your accent is, being classless shows your true colors.

anyway, Boris Wiggers shared this link and i initially ignored it, because i’ve only listened to alex jones a few times back in Austin (he’s from there i guess) and decided long ago he would probably benefit and his message would be better recieved if he took some of the very drugs he says are killing people. in other words: smart but crazy, just some people around here! i heard crazy talk about aliens and impending events that never happened, and there’s plenty of that here, too.

i don’t have a tv signal, but after coming across the name twice in one day i decided to watch it. it’s hilarious and entertaining and at the same time very sad. both of these guys are totally sketchy and it invalidates their points from any rational debating standpoint, but they’re very popular so obviously very persuasive with a lot of you.

probably: shouldn’t be. just go to wikipedia, or even the history channel. just turn off jersey shore, start there. <actually><read> about the history of any of the points that alex makes since piers manages to go through the entire interview without ever making a point until the very end, when he proves his guest is crazy and best ignored by rationale hominids everywhere, possibly best ignored by everybody were it not for this post.

plagus: you one manic dog, and need a shower.
rango: hush, beast.
plagus: i love it when you call me beast (gets another boner)
rango: i’ll never do it again, and i hate you impossibly much

why? specious logic and baiting on both sides, citing statistics out of context, making up causality. alex: shouting over the host. piers: asking the same question repeatedly and letting the rant roll on instead of just saying the name of the damn gun, letting his lunatic guest carry on rolling over him, asking questions that he knows are going to lead to a cramp in his style as he cannot speak with this raving lunatic that manages to mix up some very interesting points with a professional nut job.

best quote goes to alex: “america was born of guns & whiskey”
worst quote goes to alex: “suicide pills!!!!!!!”

points to piers for continuing to try to talk about guns, until he goes to 9/11, which he knows will unleash the crazy and make his guest look like a frothing lunatic, and it does. jones dilutes all his good points with crazy, and piers lets him get away with it.

low point: alex mocking piers’s accent, saying he could talk that way too, then talks like a crazy drunk hobo, extremely loudly, basically proving that the speciously classed piers actually outclasses his ranting guest.

also: never believe people that recite random statistics with arbitrary precision. it means they don’t know anything about statistics, but they memorized a number. every statistic should come with disclaimers and an explanation or it’s not worth talking about. it’s not useful to know how many people were killed by guns in two nations. what is useful: how many people were killed relative to their populations, the circumstances and specifics of those killings, offensive vs. defensive, economic conditions, drug policy, political environment, religous, economic and racial tensions (possibly traffic and crime conditions) at the time of the killings, and tendancies to eat boiled meat (the UK) or cook it over a fire like a cowboy (tastes like chicken) because: history.
none of that of course appears in this video. however, you do get a few numbers in between savagely incoherent arguments or stunning lack of gonads in a quintessentially british style that makes me wish more brits were like benny hill, or least johhny burger.

true conspiracies are rare, and we’ll never know how many truly succeed because they’re secret, right? except that’s the problem. it means you can just keep claiming secret conspiricies all day long.

Rage

what usually happens: people talk. somebody’s wife hears, there’s a body, people get arrested, or the plans fail due to people being stuipid. the only conspiracy involved in 9/11 was the one hatched by idiot terrorists that failed to install a global muslim celephate (sp), it was wrapped up nicely by a silver bullet in osama bin laden’s head, mostly likely several (nice shot, man, serious action hero props) there were roughly 10,000 ready soldiers in Al Queda before 9/11, they lost about 20 on the first day and we’ve been mowing them down ever since tora borra, where osama got away, but we tore that place to pieces and reduced 90% of their terrorist army to a fine pink mist with the help of a some really brave dudes that can shoot better than alex or peirs can talk. that’s why there have been no further attacks that have succeeded, and that’s the only legitimate point of war: to make people stop attacking you. (note: iraq never attacked us, wtf?). if there was an evil, awesome, ferocious overlord of political malfeasance and corruption of power (plagus gets a boner), you would not be reading this on facebook, the computer application that actually hates you <=== worry about that. you would be dead, or in their prisons, or otherwise enslaved.

alex: THEY ALREADY ARE. THEY’RE ALREADY SLAVES!!!!! 😮
peirs: (drinks tea with pinky up, checks watch, counts money)
rango: okee dokee then

Rango getting risky dancing on the wire. From Into the Snow II: This is Not Empire.

instead: arab spring. the twitter revolution. democracy slowly and surely taking root across the globe, in various flavours, and with the consent of the people that create their government. it’s imperfect, but it’s better than an evil invisible overlord with a marketing campaign to sell suicide pills (that would be the devil, also easily defeated with a dobro and some mojo, robert johnson taught us this). note on whiteboard after conspiracy meeting: what do we do after all the people get suicided? answer: drink the kool-aid, fool!

also: indie music wars <=== deinitely would not happen if there was a devil/overlord thingy. spreading love, joy, and the urge to dance, laugh and cry freely across the globe, unmitigated and unrestrained, 24/7. that would be the first thing the evil thingy would shut down if it were smart, but it’s no plagus because in fact it doesn’t exist (but plagus does).

plagus: all life to ash \m/
rango: okee dokee then

also, how many of you helped out an indie last time they were down on their luck, maybe actually bought one of their albums? i know Tim Hearn did. i’m going to start doing that every week as i feature artists on my new radio show, the one were the crazy guy actually has it locked in, but not the first six of them because i’m financially ruptured due to months of unemployment. see you cats at The Audio Burger where i’m pretty sure Darren Baz Badrock is going to have a say on this. he’s like a smarter alex, with less crazy. actually he’s way better, hard to see the appeal in either of these nut jobs.