Smudge of Pudding (Somewhat Vapid)

HIM: (interrupts meeting at modelling agency office)
HER: Matthew, is that you? I didn’t even recognize you. (she points at face)
HIM: I was dressed as Rango last time. More superhero. Today it’s gas more gas station attendant. (takes off hat & sun glasses) look, same guy, no bank robber, just slightly skunky.

Somewhat Vapid on the Tracks

Somewhat Vapid on the Tracks

HER: No, it’s this (points at smudge-of-pudding excuse for a beard). It’s your facial hair, hold on i’m not being fresh (starts running her hands all over my face giving me instructions on how it should be shaved, clean lines, etc).
HIM: For what context? I can always shave but I can’t instantly grow facial hair. I’ve only shaved once this month and this is it.
HER: (etc, ignores Rango despite risking life and limb, goes on about facial hair. this woman is seriously professional)
HIM: (wonders about political correctness here. in a rare moment, decides to shut up and listen)
HER: (etc…i have never thought about facial hair this much in my whole life as this woman has in the last 30 seconds)
HIM: (annoyed) Should I just get rid of it? My ex-girlfriend told me I told me I look dorky without it and I tend to agree. So basically I looked dorky my whole life until 2 years ago. Now, just somewhat. I honestly don’t care. I just need work.
HER: (she doesn’t get the “somewhat”, it was purely delivered for you guys ex post facto, and goes on about proper shaving…then to other agent, concerned) It wasn’t this way for the shoot was it? (to him) You need a clean line right here.
HIM: I get that. Are my pictures ready?
AGENT: Two more weeks.
HIM: Very good, thank you! (leaves before she spits on napkin to wipe his face like his mom used to do…)

I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed a contract with John Casablancas Modeling and Career Centers to be my exclusive agency representation for my acting and modeling initiatives going forward. Timing is everything they say, and I’m ready for these boosters to fire and get this rocket to escape velocity. Conveniently, audition information has already by sent to my phone and I’ll be exploring some of the opportunities in the coming days.


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